I'm posting my response to Karen's disability etiquette questions here because I feel it's important...
"What would have been a more appropriate way for this lady to behave? Should she have asked in a different way, or ignored your wheelchair altogether? I just sometimes wonder what's right."
My answer...
I know people aren't going to ignore the w/c. It's kind of hard to miss. ; )
But this is how it should've gone...
She: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
She: Why are you in a wheelchair?
Me: Because I was born with a disability.
Anytime you ask someone what's wrong with them, I can guarantee that it won't be received well.
Class dismissed. : )
Like I said before, if that's how she goes around talking to people, I bet she gets slapped at least once a day. There had to be a million better ways to ask that question than to say "what's WRONG with you?"
ReplyDeleteYou are so right on this one So. Cal. Gal. Much more tactful than saying, "Why don't you lay your big effing tongue on the floor so I can run over it with my studded-tire wheel chair."
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how a question is worded can make all the difference.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a minor adjustment can make a major difference!
ReplyDeleteI agree, the way she said it was totally rude!!! There were more polite ways to say it if she was that curious. I don't usually ask people about their disabilities unless they bring it up because I just don't know how they feel about talking about it with people, but if I were to ask, I definitely would never say, "Whats wrong with you?" So inconsiderate!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for that. I definitely know you shouldn't ask what's "wrong" because NOTHING is wrong with someone in a wheelchair. (Well, there could be something wrong with them, but the wheelchair isn't it.)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you answered the question because I'm just never sure if it's okay to ask people about their disabilities or conditions or differences. This helped a lot!
It is true; we need to be mindful, all of us, how we say what we say.
ReplyDeleteGood to know! However, I so agree. It's best just to come out and be honest, and ask. I had a lady come to my door with her 9 year old, wanting my 12 year old girl to babysit the 9 year old for a few hours before and after school. As the child wandered through my house, I could tell something was wrong. Finally I said to the mother, "Is she visually impaired? Is she autistic or have a disability?" So the mother then felt she could tell me what her daughter's disability was. It struck me as funny though that if I hadn't asked, she might not have shared. My point...'cuz believe it or not, I do have one, asking isn't bad. I'm glad you validated this.
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