Now, this is what I call NASTY!...

I got so many questions for the real Nasty Meme that I'm going to answer them in two parts. The 1st part is the nasty, because that's how I roll...but let's start out slow, shall we?

1. Were you born with the spinal column partially outside your body?

Technically, no. "Spina Bifida is the most common neural tube defect, resulting from the failure of the spine to close properly during the first month of pregnancy. In severe cases, the spinal cord protrudes through the back and may be covered by skin or a thin membrane."

2. Do you have any lack of sensation, or is it mostly pain you deal with?

Mostly pain. But I never had 'chronic' pain til recently. I have decent sensation, except below my knees. I can feel if someone steps on my foot but not if they prick me (no pun intended) with something sharp.

3. If you have a lack of sensation, is it in your "naughty bits"?

No, thank goodness!

4. Any bladder problems? If so do you have to always carry catheter equipment?

A lot of S.B. peeps don't have bladder/bowel control but I got lucky!!!

5. Are you able to get on top, or do you have to be on the bottom?

My lower back it too weak to be on top but I'm pretty flexible otherwise. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

6. Have I crossed the line yet?

Haha! No.

7. Do you have any old pain meds you could send to me?

After this last year? Tons.

8. How many lovers have you "enjoyed?"

I enjoyed some naked time with short-term b/f's, but lovers? A whopping...two. Both in serious relationships.

9. How many lover's have you NOT enjoyed? Ha!

One of my naked time b/f's told me he was small...and he wasn't kidding! That's why it never went further than it did. lol!

10. What's you favorite position?

Lying next to my guy with my head on his shoulder. ; )

11. Have you had sex in your chair?

No. One b/f wanted to figure out how we could actually 'do it' but he never did...and he tried!

12. Where's the craziest place you've had sex?

On a diving board and/or in a pool (it's not at easy as the movies make it look).

13. Would you make passionate girl/girl love with Lady GaGa for $1,000,000?

There is NO amount of money.

14. Are you multi-orgasmic?

I can be. Depends on my motivation.

15. Would you ever do a M-F-M threesome?

I was asked (let's be honest, he begged) to do a F-M-F and I refused, so no. Although...my secret crush would be pretty damn good. I might have to rethink this one.

16. Thong, bikini, boy shorts, or commando?

None of the above. Try to figure that one out.

Is there anything else you'd like to know???

Sometimes life just hands them to you...

My mom loved my last boyfriend but she still doesn't quite know what to make of my guy. Both were/are kind, loving, and protective.

But the ex was a people-pleaser. My guy is not. He likes to 'tell it like it is'. I've impressed upon him the importance of tact, and he's learning. Slowly.

So, I was reading my Love Horoscope online yesterday and got a fit of The Giggles...

"No, you never expected to actually be attracted to someone like him/her - but it happened. Don't fight it. It's exhilarating, and such fun to see your loved ones squirm!"

Especially when we trash talk about certain family members. I think he makes her squirm because he says things she wishes she could. ; )

Poop, there it is!...

This gives 'blowout' a whole new meaning:

I'm not sure if I think it's cute...or ewwwww!

What do you think?

The Nasty 31 Meme, Part Two (and a request)...

16. What's the longest shift that you worked at a job?

12 hours. Not really a 'job' but volunteering overnight. Those Boy Scouts probably still haven't recovered. Telling limericks jokes when you're over-tired isn't always a good idea.

17. What was the last concert that you attended?

Styx. Like, a million years ago. Well, maybe just 16 or 17.

18. What the last DVD (or Blu Ray) movie that you watched?

I don't think I can say. ; )

19. How did you like the film?

I'm sure I did. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

20. What comedian do you love?

Dating myself here...Gallagher and Ellen DeGeneres, when she was a comedian. Her 'phone call to God' is hilarious!

21. Do you ever sleep in the nude?

I have in the distant past but we're trying to get that figured out.

22. Have you ever had a long distance relationship?

Yes. He went back to wifie (don't date someone who is separated!) after we met in person. Devastated at the time, but I eventually realized that I dodged a 250 lb. bullet.

23. What do you think of astrology?

I believe that certain signs have certain characteristics, etc. The horoscope part is crap.

24. What's you're favorite lyric quote from a song?

Us and Them
And after all we're only ordinary men
Me, and you
God only knows it's not what we would choose...to do.

25. Tell us something random about yourself.

I've traveled to Mexico, Canada, and all over the U.S. (including Hawaii and Alaska), but live less than 10 miles from my childhood home.

26. Have you ever attended a theme party? If yes, do tell.

Isn't that the same thing as a Halloween party? If it's not, then I obviously haven't.

27. What is your favorite thing about winter?

Electric blankets and hot chocolate. It's a good thing I live in So. Cal. because I would DIE in a colder climate.

28. What was the name of your first pet?

Fluffy. A cat. A white, fluffy, one.

29. What have you done so far this weekend?

Made a crapton of phone calls, read outside/soaked up some radiation, and watched a gymnast blow out her knee on Saturday. Spent Sunday with my guy. *sigh* (Hey, I'm a poet!)

30. Has your humor ever been called “sick”?

Hahaha!!! I...can't...breathe...HAHAHA!!!

31. If you could have one thing, what would it be?

My health. Boring, but true.

As for the request, I think we can all agree that this meme wasn't nasty...so I'm giving you the opportunity to ask me some REALLY nasty questions. Think of some (as many as you want) and leave them in the comments. I'll answer them in a future post.

1. Mom arrived home safe from her vacation. She said it took 6 hours (waiting) to take a 2.5 hour flight.

2. I'm going to Borders...for the 3rd time. My credit card is paid off. For now.

3. My high school is having a reunion next month. But I'm not going.

4. Most of us are on FB and don't want to spend $$$ for a fancy party, so we're going to get together on our own.

5. I've been invited to two of those get-togethers, so far.

How was your week?

My ears, they're not so good...

My guy has been working on his motorcycle and I had to laugh when we talked last night.

He: I got the engine out but I don't know if I should try to fix it myself or take it somewhere.

Me: Taking it somewhere would be easier.

He: Yeah, but I like to play with myself.


Me: With yourself?

He: Hunh?

Me: WITH yourself?

He: With IT myself.

Me: Suuure!

The Nasty 31 Meme, Part One...

Calm down, it's not as nasty as you think.

Darn it!

1. What has been your longest love relationship?

The one I'm in now. We're both laidback so we don't sweat the small stuff. We just sweat. ; )

2. What was the last gift that you received?

Doritos. The surprising part is that they're still in the bag. Well, most of them.

3. What do you spend your extra cash on?

Whatever catches my fancy. But my fancy still loves a bargain.

4. If you could live anywhere would you live?

New Zealand. Yeah, like that'll ever happen.

5. Who's your cell phone provider?

Can you hear me now?

6. What's your favorite mall store?

Right now, Borders. Been there twice and thinking about going again. Then I think about the credit card bill. *sigh*

7. What's the longest job that you've had? (No parenting does not count!)

16 years as a glorified secretary.

8. If you won the lottery, who'd you call first?

Probably my mom. To gloat tell her I'm paying off her house.

9. If you won, how would you spend your money after investments?

Design and build a custom w/c accessible home. Then we'll see how nice the family's been to me.

10. When was the last time you went to church (or a religious house)?

I went with my guy when we first met. I'm not a "religious" person but I wanted him to know that I'm flexible. You know what I mean!

11. What's the biggest lie that you've heard?

The ones I've told on April Fool's Day.

12. When you go out with your friends, where do you go?

Usually just lunch or dinner. I'm not into movies, night and/or dance clubs (obviously). We used to go to porn shops, but that's a post for another day.

13. When was the last time that you cried?

I'm sure it was within the last month. And either stress or pain-related. Grr!

14. What food do you hate?

Where do I start? Onions, celery, pork, beans (except black), raisins, watermelon, cherries, sushi, tamales, milk (is that 'food'?).

15. What do you like best about yourself?

My snarkiness sense of humor...and my eyes.

To be continued...

I've lost it...

My writing mojo, that is.

There's lots of 'stuff' going on in my life that needs to be taken care of this week. I've been on the phone almost non-stop and nothing is getting done. Can you say, "Frustrating"?

I'm sure it's just a temporary setback and I'll be full steam ahead on Monday. I hope.

Cross your fingers, toes, and eyes!

It's enough to make a chick cry...

While cleaning, I found a journal from 2008 and these are some of the things my guy said to me:

You're the best thing in my life right now.

Happy Almost Valentine's Day. (Feb. 13th)

You know I wasn't annoyed at you, right? I was thinking I was mad at him. You don't deserve that.

I'm protective of you.


I hate to argue. Luckily, I've never gotten mad at you. (Frustrated? Sure. lol!)

I've been more patient since meeting you. I realize 'it is what it is' and you're the one who has to live it.

You're Filet Mignon. (if you think about it, he's calling me a cow...but that's ok) ; )

I told you we were linked. (after we both said we hadn't slept well the night before)

And a bonus (because it's too funny not to share)...

He sang, "If you're ugly and you know it, grab a bag!" sung to the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It (about my cousin's homely boyfriend)

1. My birthday present to myself is all set up...and I love it!

2. Had my 6th b-day celebration/lunch with a friend from grade school and his wife. A last minute thing but soooo much fun...probably because it lasted 4 hours. Time flies when you're trashing fellow school peeps.

3. That evening, my best bud stopped by because he wanted to show me a DVD that was, in his words, "Hil-air-eee-ous"! It had it's moments. ; )

4. On FB, someone with a dirty mouth asked how to leave a group because "I'm getting too many #$*#&*$& emails!" The moderator said to watch her language and told her how to leave. The girl, using saltier language, said she couldn't figure it out. So several people, myself included (because I love a good smackdown) began commenting on how stupid she was since she had to join in the 1st place. Last I checked, there were over 40 comments. I resisted the urge and only left 1.

5. I went on a cleaning jag and now the place looks spotless decent. We'll see how long it lasts.

Sixth sense (and no, I don't see dead people)...

You know how 'they' say blind people develope a sixth sense because of their disablity? I wonder if that applies to people who lose the ability to walk?

Case in point...

*The city painted 'STOP' on the street corner outside my house and I smelled that damn paint for 5 days! No one else (said they) could.

*While a passenger in a car, I said, "I hear a siren." The driver poo-poo'ed me and not 3 minutes later had to pull over for a paramedic truck. 5 minutes after that, I said it again and, 2 minutes later, a firetruck came around the corner while we were at a red light.

*I wake up 15 minutes before my alarm clock goes off. GRR!

*I can tell what time it is within 5 minutes of the actual time. It's a gift.


But, apparently, it doesn't apply to my eyesight. Every time someone says, "There it is" I can't see it. Even if I'm right on top of it (no pun intended) or it's in my face. Unless it's my guy's...uhh, never mind.

Do you have a "sixth" sense?

Almost brother...

My brother is the most generous, laidback, and accomodating relative I have. And I have a LOT of relatives.

This weekend, my guy and my brother (because I asked him to) worked on a home project.

When he called that afternoon, I asked my guy, "How'd it go?" He replied, "Your brother, my almost brother, is soooooo nice!"

I love that he calls my family his 'almost' family. We aren't getting married but if we were, I know he'd already feel like part of the family.