I like to read in the sun when the weather's nice. Since it was 74 degrees, yesterday was no exception.
But I didn't expect to get attacked by a HUGE grasshopper! I'd guess about 4 inches long.
That f*cker latched onto my sock-clad ankle and wouldn't let go! I kept swatting at it with my book but it just kept circling my leg like an ugly merry-go-round horse!
And since I sit for a living, it was WAY too close for comfort. I was hoping that it would fall off my leg, and not climb UP!
After what seemed like f-o-r-e-v-e-r (but was probably only a minute or so), it fell underneath my chair. I moved my ass so fast that I broke my sunglasses (which were repairable, thank goodness).
For the rest of the time I was outside, I kept my eyes on that damn bug. I was hoping it would find it's way into the pool and drown, but no such luck.
Grr!
I hate the f*cking wilderness.
ReplyDeleteEwwwww! I don't mind the things, as long as they keep their distance. I DON'T WANT ONE ON ME!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the grasshopper was longer than Justin Bieber's ----? I don't want to go there. Those big grasshoppers make great bass fishing bait. You shoulda grabbed him by the ears, stuck him into an envelope and sent him Northeast.
ReplyDeleteIt was a grasshopper. You was reading. That means you had a weapon. Smash it girl.
ReplyDeleteDon't you have some kind of stick with you at all times? If I were you, I'd start carrying a stick.
ReplyDeleteBecause he was just the scout. Rest of the posse is coming.
aaaaaah little grasshopper . . .
ReplyDeleteooops! not you, but IT!
They do kinda creep me out.
F*ucker the Grasshopper...you have to admit, there is a fun ring to that. I think you should have made it a family pet based on his name alone.
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't a spider. Or a scorpion.
ReplyDeleteNASTY. Bugs should know by now to just mind their own business!
ReplyDelete