Dec. 11 - R filled out a form for a Wheaties contest. He said, “Here’s my prize-winning poem - 'before I play with my wife’s titties, I make sure I eat my Wheaties’.” I was drinking a soda and almost choked to death.
Mar. 1 - J and I were in the kitchen when the lights went out. He yelled, “Rape! Rape! Someone rape me before the lights come back on!”
Apr. 16 - B made root beer floats & we played Rummy. I asked, “Did you put down?” She replied, “You ugly, fat, disgusting pig.” I asked, “What was that for?’ She replied, “I was putting you down.” I had a mouthful of rootbeer & was trying not to spray her.
July 29 - J said, “My girlfriends tell me all the time how handsome I am.” R replied, “J, dogs don’t talk.”
Now it all makes sense!
*names concealed to protect the not-so-innocent
My journals are nothing like that!
ReplyDeleteThe first one made me spew my coffee!
ReplyDeleteI have a girlfriend that constantly says, "I can't wait for tomorrow!" And when you say 'how come?' she says, "Because I get better lookin' every day."
Gets me every time.
I want a second opinion of that.
ReplyDeleteOkay, your Momma dresses you funny.
You live in California, I question your sanity every day.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny!
ReplyDeleteI never kept a diary or journal. I tried a couple of times but gave up after just a few entries.
good stuff!
ReplyDeleteFirst, the fact that you entered a Wheaties contest made me laugh. Then, the fact that you tried to rhyme "titties" with "Wheaties" made me cry.
ReplyDeleteAh, I love this blog. :)
It's amazing you haven't drowned on soda!
ReplyDeletePretty funny stuff. I like that Wheaties comment. Wheaties are made right here in The Land of 10,000 Lakes and 10,000 Taxes.
ReplyDelete